May 21
“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them.” (Colossians 3:19)
RESENTMENT. It is so easy to resent other Christians, even our spouses, for things that they have done or are doing to us. We think that if they really loved us, or if they really were spiritual, or if they weren’t such “hypocrites” that they wouldn’t do what they did or treat us the way they treated us. We harbor hard feelings and a coolness toward others because of this. We are hindered in showing them love and grace because of these hurts and offenses, real or perceived, and we may even hope for their punishment or for God to bring some consequences upon them. For many years I had memorized the verse, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them.” (Colossians 3:19) I was not bitter toward my wife, but I didn’t realize that I had some resentment toward her, which is in my opinion the same thing only perhaps to a lesser degree. Resentment can be difficult to see in ourselves. Do you resent anyone for anything? Are you holding on to anything that would hinder you from freely loving someone and giving of your time and energy to serve them? Is there anyone who you are avoiding interacting with or even making eye contact with? Is there anyone that you wouldn’t want to see or spend time with if the opportunity arose? Is there anyone you would rather avoid? Do you feel you have been hurt by anyone with the issue unresolved? Is there anyone who you feel is deserving of consequences from the Lord or a stern rebuke for what they did? Is there anyone who you feel is mistreating you or others and should be taught a lesson?
HARDNESS of HEART, COOLNESS, COLDNESS. These can easily follow resentment or bitterness. When we are bitter toward someone, and the issue is not resolved in our hearts between us and them, we be can become cold, uncaring, hard hearted, even hateful toward others. Or just indifferent toward them. Is there anyone you are cold toward, especially those close to you or in your family or in your immediate church body? Can anyone say that you are a cold person? Can anyone say you are cold to them and they are not sure why? Are you characterized by a warm and generous heart toward those who maybe have hurt or offended you, or do you hold yourself aloof and distant from them? Can and do you love your enemies as Jesus commanded, or is this too much for the Lord to ask of you?
MANIPULATION. Are you direct in your requests of others, or do you say things in an indirect way to get them to do what you want? Do you ever make people feel put on the spot or guilty or deficient in some way if they don’t do what you want them to do? Do you insult people or criticize people who don’t agree with you? Do you praise and give attention to people who do what you want but withhold approval or chide, embarrass, insult, or demean those who do not do what you wish? Do you make people “pay” when they disagree with you or don’t do as you say?
Tomorrow we will wrap up our discussion about these types of less apparent sins.