August 20
“For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am doing the very thing I hate.” (Romans 7:15)
In trying to understand our sinful behaviors, I think it is helpful to reflect on the question of “Why?” This will be a question that we will come back to multiple times in our discussion and can be an extremely enlightening question.
There are two sides to the question “Why?” that we must ask ourselves when we are wrestling with stubborn, well-entrenched sins. The first side of “Why?” relates to why we are doing the thing, why we started it in the first place, why we are attracted to it, why we desire it and find it satisfying and beneficial. Simply put, it is the question, “Why am I doing this thing?” In this context, it is the question of why I am committing immorality or viewing pornography or lusting after others in my heart.
The second side of the question “Why?” relates to why should we not do this thing, why is it hurting us or harmful to us and others, why does God consider it to be sinful, why should we be disliking and avoiding this behavior. Simply put, it is the question, “Why should I not be doing this thing.”
First let’s address the first question of “Why am I doing this thing?” In the case of immorality, pornography, and lust, think about every possible reason you can think of why you are doing these things. Was it due to childhood exposure to immorality that corrupted your thinking early on, perhaps making it seem exciting to you, normal to you, or not unusual to you? Or did you suffer sexual abuse as a child that has left deep emotional scars that you are reacting to in some way still today? Has your past experiences shaped who you are, to the point where you identify and embrace a lifestyle of immorality?
I have the hypothesis that those of us who struggle most in this area were exposed in some way to immoral behavior or images when we were younger, and it had a big impact on us, to make us accept it or desire it or need it in some perverse way. If any of these things are true or might be true of you, be assured that God understands and sees your trauma and desires to help you work through it, trusting Him and being conformed to His holy image by His power. He doesn’t accept the immoral behavior any more because of what happened to you, but be confident that He does love you and will patiently help you work through the issues if you trust Him to do so and obey His leading.
For others, temptations of immorality and pornography may have taken root during a time of depression or loss, emotional pain, rejection, loneliness, failure, or the like. During times like these, we can feel like God has rejected us and dislikes us, so why bother trying to keep His standards? Satan can play a lot of tricks in our minds during times like these, and we end up turning to the evil on, the Enemy of our souls, for relief and escape from these awful feelings, rather than to God. And of course, the pleasure, if there is any, is fleeting, and we end up in a much worse state than before we started. We will REALLY feel alone if we turn our backs on the Lord, the only One who is sticking by us and helping us through when others have abandoned us! Yet those of us stuck in these sins make foolish choices like this all the time.
We will continue our discussion of “Why” tomorrow.